The Last Connection

Yesterday I discovered that my maternal grandmother died. Today I received a card from my cousin along with her obituary and a copy of the order of service for her funeral.

This is very difficult to deal with-other than my father, she was the last connection to my mother. My grandfather, mother and sister all died and my grandmother was the only one left out of that family unit. It feels like my mother died all over again and now I am the only female left from that maternal line.

My cousin has a brother so he has an advantage I do not-someone who still knows and has memories of their mother.

My mother died before I met my husband, before I had my blessing. My blessing did see her great-grandmother, which was great, because I know not many children do get that. I just wish it hadn’t come at the cost of not meeting my mother or my mother’s sister.

It is sad when one whole family unit has ended-and with my grandmother’s death, that’s what happened. Yesterday was the 7th-my mother died on December 7th. Having my grandmother dying so close to the anniversary of my mother’s death is also taking it’s toll on me.

My heart is very heavy.

On the upside-my blessing made my bed for me this morning-first time she’s ever done that. That gave me some delight on an otherwise dreary soul day.

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